Gossip Girl Exclusive: Hollywood actress gives birth to conjoined twins

This just in, a well known high-profile female celebrity (whom we cannot name due to the family's fear of the safety of the newborns) has just given birth to a pair of conjoined twins.

The actress mother in question, spotted earlier this year
Note: photo retouched

The couple, who oft make the covers of those tacky tabloids, are overwhelmed by the miraculous nature of the birth. The conjoining of twin children in a womb is a rare phenomenon that occurs just once in every 50000 births. That's a fact that the couple will surely be flaunting in the faces of fellow celebrity pals near and dear to them.

This marks the fifth and latest addition to their already merry family, but given their 'generous' past adoptions of 'orphaned' children, it certainly doesn't look like the couple will be slowing down anytime soon. Whether their next child is one of their own, or the next color of the rainbow, we'll be first to let you in on the story.

Although the delivery ward was filled with celebration at the time of birth, the couple have been informed of the low survival rate conjoined twins face, in comparison to unconjoined infants. The couple has commented that "it's just one of those things that you hear about in the news and you never imagine it to happen to you. But it does and you're like: "Holy Cow!"" and that "we will love them, no matter what they look like". The couple also plan to get a start with THE token charity. As we all know, celebrities often inspired to found after life-changing experiences, to "give something back to the people who have given so much". In the couple's case, the charity in question is one for children born conjoined. "We believe that children born into these circumstances [conjoined] have the right to live like normal [unconjoined] children from the moment they enter the world, so we've decided to donate millions of dollars, since money is no object to us, to begin this unique foundation in order to fight for this cause. We feel really strongly about this and our voices need to be heard," says the actress, on behalf of the couple at a recent press conference. She then displayed the pair of twins and asked the audience present, "Do these look like freaks to you?"

Meanwhile, Entertainment Weekly has won the rights to publish the first official photographs of the couple together with the twins, at a record price of a cool 16 million. The tabloid magazine was the highest bidder in the long-running international race for the highly coveted photo op.
Now those are some real million dollar babies. "Mama needs a new nose..."

xoxo,
Gossip Girl

Disclaimer: The author wishes to stress that this is a fictitious account. Any relations to real people are purely coincidental.

Google to acquire Microsoft?!?

First, Yahoo! bought Flickr.
Then, Microsoft bought Yahoo!.
Now, Google may make the biggest buy-out response in the history of the informational & technological world. Rumour has it, Google may have plans to buy out Microsoft buy (excuse the pun) the end of the next quarter. This will be the next, and by far the biggest, phase in Google's attempt of world domination. This buy-out would follow Bill Gates' retirement rather nicely for tech history (and conveniently, for Google's sake). Word on the web is that Google attempted to acquire Microsoft last year, for an undisclosed sum, but old Billy-boy refused. They sure are some smart cookies at Google - kicking the company while it's down.


Here's some background info on Google's recent spending spree...
2001, Google buys Pyra Labs, creators of Blogger
Early 2006, Upstartle, creator of Writely, is purchased by Google
Late 2006, Google acquires YouTube

The result of a buy-out would be positive for consumers. Google, in the past has made services acquired through the buying out of other companies - Blogger, Google Docs & Spreadsheets, Google Earth - free for its followers users. Could this mean the next Windows operating system will be free for all??

Word, although unconfirmed as yet, also says that Steve Jobs is mighty jealous and angry about the news. A buy-out like this would make him think twice about retiring, something that, we suspect, has been under Apple's works for months (probably in the same manner as a product release, given his egomaniacal persona), ever since his long-time rival Bill Gates announced his retirement. He is an attention seeker after all, so watch his face...

Although both parties, Microsoft and Google, have not confirmed the likelihood of the buy-out, it may happen as early as September. You heard it here first on Gossip Girl.
We'll keep you updated on this one,

xoxo,
Gossip Girl

Disclaimer: The author wishes to stress that this is a mere possibility. The author cannot guarantee the accuracy/certainty of the contents of the article, as the party(s) mentioned above are yet to confirm the news.

Steve Jobs ANNOUNCES RETIREMENT?!?

So, due to the huge amounts of visitors coming to my blog ever since my pre-release coverage of the iPhone 2.0, I've decided to remove my hit counter - it overloaded thrice. So you can ignore my 'I am Lisa Simpson' post of my excitement over the installation of a hit-counter (Those were the days, man). I did sound like a had a little to drink anyway, didn't I? Well, I am a recovering alcoholic after all, but that's a personal detail I'll touch on another time...

And onto other hot goss...
Bill Gates retired like...a few weeks ago. Good on him, old Billy-boy, bringing us the infamous blue screen of death for the second time in his career. His long time copy-cat rival at Apple, Steve Jobs, the one who creeps me out, may follow his lead and soon also retire. You heard it hear first on Gossip Girl. And no surprise if he announces his (long-awaited) death at an Apple Keynote speech on the first anniversary of his retirement. ;) Steve, I Love your computers, dislike your phones and definitely steer clear from you. Wow, I sound like one of his employees... But seriously, black skivvy with jeans?? Don't go there. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him wear anything else...

The (ego)maniac himself in his trademark get-on. Such a poser.
Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Speaking of Bill Gates, this week Windows Update wreaked havoc for ZoneAlarm users, of which I am one. You eager beavers at Microsoft can celebrate the company death later. "I want (hot)Fix now!...Pretty please?".

Well, we've all gotta die someday, right?

But before then, stay in school, kids. Otherwise you'd end up like me: rich, popular, uber-successful...
On that note...
xoxo,
Gossip Girl

Disclaimer: The author wishes to stress that this is a mere possibility. The author cannot guarantee the accuracy/certainty of the contents of the article, as the party(s) mentioned above are yet to confirm the news.

iPhone 3G: World's First review by GossipGirl.

This just in, I got my hands on the iPhone 3G, before everyone else, along with CNET, Gizmodo and a few others. So let me take it apart for you...
(And a little sidenote: I'm not exactly impressed)

When I buy a cell phone, the first thing I look for is design that matches my stylishness (thank you very much).
Check. Although apple has long ditched the traditional iPod design with click-wheel, clean lines and all else, they've hit a new high with the touchscreen. Pretty. But I've seen better.
The back looks a bit el cheapo plastic-y. (THINK Ashlee Simpson post-nose job. Better, but she ain't no Jessica...)
Better than: LG Viewty - A big lens doesn't compensate for a small...
Worse than: HTC Diamond - A girl's intricately detailed BFF

Next of all, I want a high quality device that'll outlive my pet goldfish.
Check. The iPhone is quite sturdy with good build quality. It can survive the toughest of conditions - abandoned to fend for itself in my overcrowded warzone handbag. Unfortunately it's not waterproof, so I won't be taking it to the beach anytime soon.
Better than: Hiptop LX - Just twist. And SNAP! That's how you gotta do it hun'...
Worse than: Blackberry Curve - It's a Brickberry. Need I say more?

A phone is a form of communication.
Check-ish...A full QWERTY keyboard is always preferable, as I'm a serial texter, but the touchscreen manages to pull it off. The phone is a little awkward to hold while talking. Safari - not my favorite browser - is usable and I can access instant messenger and my email.
Better than: B&O Serene - Beautiful to admire, painful to use
Worse than: Most Blackberrys, Sidekicks - years = experience

Entertainment, cause even I get bored (amazingly).
Check. Accepts all your music and movies from iTunes, which is great if you already have an iPod - now you don't need two/three separate devices, it's all in one! Youtube is easily accessed - a definite plus. You've always got the net to keep you company. The camera is the suck though - only 2 MP and no video support, that's ridiculous!
Better than: Many.
Worse than: Not many.

Last of all, the biggest and most important (if not only) improvement is the speed. The first generation iPhone supported EDGE, which is heck slow (sorry 'bout the language), but now with 3G on the line, you can get speeds that rival your home broadband connection. Now that's a real quickie, without loss of pleasure. ;)

So, the iPhone might be an overall okay phone for the average user, but I'm still not convinced that it's worthy of my use. Apple has been trapped by the same case of performance anxiety that has plagued Danger - "Refresh, not replace." It's just not good enough for me (call me a perfectionist with great expectations). So I'm gonna ditch it and wait till something worth my time comes onto the market...maybe iPhone 3.0? I hope this answers all the questions you've been sending me about the iPhone 2.0. You can thank me later.

Any suggestions, my ever so faithful readers?

Oh G, I'm so hard to please...

xoxo,
Gossip Girl